Week 7 - Cova 19 Isolation



I hit an emotional wall last week ... too much coming at me; friends and family ill, more restrictions going into place, a family member who seems clueless as to the Cova danger and their culpability, a dear friend moving to Cleveland under very trying circumstances. I'm usually a positive person ... who else would bury a seed several inches into the ground and expect a beautiful plant to grow.



I'm impacted by sun and lack of sun. After a week of delightful weather, we plunged into a Kentucky Spring Winter. From sunny and 70's to overcast and 40's. My disposition plunged with it - what's going to happen to nephews, who's jobs depend on disposable income from corporations and individuals or our grandsons; soon graduating from high school and college? A niece who graduates and wants to work with exotic animals? The few people I feel confident about are the daughters/niece who are teachers. Teachers will not only have a job - I'm thinking lots of parents are going to have a newfound respect.



Then I have other worries. Thursday, 18 people died in New Mexico and in the same state; 20 Navaho died. I'm terrified what this will do to our population.



By Friday, I was still deeply in my Poor Pitiful Me abyss. I’m not used to being sidelined or feeling helpless. We isolated early because we were returning from overseas.



While in Portugal; I started worrying about Cova19. We were in a small town; I was cautious but not alarmed. Then cousins in Italy told me what was happening to them - I was relieved the time was near to go home. We flew to Madrid; had to wait 24 hrs to get a flight to the states. By then I was in full panic mode. Madrid crowds at the airport and in City Center were enormous. I was willing to get on any flight heading to anywhere in the states. Friends (as well as my husband) thought I was overreacting by immediately isolating.



I wish I had been. Long story short; we were lucky. Cova19 exploded in Madrid 3 days after we left. Fortunately, we remain safe.



Back to last Friday, even I couldn’t stand to be around myself – despite my patient partner’s reassurances of “this too will pass; you’re fine; no don’t notice you growling at me.” I started making lists … lists of - what works, what’s not working, gratitude, what sets me off, what makes me happy, and so on and so forth. What stood out was the very little sleep I’m getting – either only 3-4 hours a night or restless through out the night. I wear a FitBit watch and every morning I ignored the messages about lack of sleep. Reviewing my lists, 1st I decided to change my evening routine; no watching “Grace and Frankie” or stalking people on Facebook but reading, centering myself, deep breathing. (I’m a little astounded as the past 3 nights I slept soundly – even tho I bought a bottle of melatonin as a backup.)



I realize I like and need order – helter skelter doesn’t work for me. The past weeks my attitude was “I can’t go anywhere; no one can come here; so what if my floors don’t get vacuumed? I spilled some popcorn; so what? I don’t Have To Do my stretches now; maybe I’ll do them this afternoon…or not.” I thought I was having fun – Freedom Baby Freedom … do whatever I want whenever I want.



Not healthy for me. Here’s next weeks goals:

1.   Keep track of something, allow flexability

2.   Keep a routine, allow time for order and a time for enjoyment

3.   Celebrate the stuff that matters

4.   Embrace maudlin

5.   Keep a journal; be brave enough to share it

6.   Use reading as a mood adjuster



And when FitBit buzzes, indication I’ve been still for too long, I’m getting up and moving.



And it just buzzed - ciao

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